How does it feel? Painful. Just like a knife going through your heart. Just like a favourite toy being snatched away from a little child. Hurt. Like millions of children wanting to cry altogether. Scared. Like walking through a lonely street and the light goes off. Hollow. Like a part of your heart has been torn apart from you. Alone. Like no hand to grab at a crowded wonderland.
Why does it happen? Why are we born if we have to die? And if that’s what life is, then why does it hurt so much? If its foreseen, why arent we prepared for it? Will we ever be prepared to handle a loss so big?
So many questions, arent there? Who will answer them better? Those who have suffered a loss, or those who havent? Those who have, will be too shattered to give the logics, and those who havent, would have trouble connecting with the gravity of matters!
I lost one of my most brightest stars to God. And it shook my world upside down. I couldnt think straight. Its been 9 days now. And not a single moment has gone by when I dont feel the pain, or the helplessness of not being able to stop her from leaving me. She was a mother to my mother, and much more than that to me. She gave me the love noone else can ever match upto. Her warm smile still keeps me cozy at night. The way she used to greet me when I used to come to meet her, the longingness in her eyes, and her looking at me and saying, “Aa gayi Mithu”. Everything told me how she had been waiting for hours just to see me.
I still remember how she used to sing to me and my sister, while making us sleep at night. She never took a vocal training, but her sweetest voice would make it hard for anyone to believe that…